Chic-fil-A's Honey Pepper Pimento Chicken Sandwich Has Hit San Angelo... and It Stinks!


SAN ANGELO, TX – The over-hyped and downright bad Chick-fil-A Honey Pepper Pimento Chicken Sandwich has hit San Angelo, and I'm telling you now, don't waste your time.

The nation's favorite chicken joint, occasionally known as God's Chicken, Chick-fil-A, launched the twist on their original and spicy chicken sandwich by adding honey, pimento cheese, and pickled jalapeños. An unholy combo, to say the least.

However, with the hype, I felt the need to wander outside of the norm and try the sandwich every news media site in the country was raving about. From the jump, the sandwich is just plain awkward. Because of the hype, and of course, the 12 p.m. lunch traffic, even getting into the parking lot was a feat.

Once in the drive-thru, I was greeted by a smiling worker who had to hear my struggle to get through, "Chick-fil-A Honey Pepper Pimento Spicy Chicken Sandwich," a name longer than the drive-thru line itself.

After scooting through the rest of the drive-thru, I made it back to my apartment with just enough time to try what I hoped would be the new sandwich of choice. There, I carefully removed the sandwich and inspected it. Here is what I found:

Chick-fil-A Honey Pepper Pimento Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Chick-fil-A Honey Pepper Pimento Spicy Chicken Sandwich

In an honest opinion, the sandwich was mediocre at best. If you've seen any cooking competition on TV, then you know that any dish can be overdone. This is the perfect example of that. If you had pimento cheese on a sandwich, great. If you add honey to a sandwich, great. If you add pickled jalapeños, great. However, adding all three just makes a clash of flavors on your palate.

The sweetness of the honey, the savoriness of the cheese, and then the sourness of the pickling on the jalapeños really make a weird tangy sauce that does not bring out the flavors that everyone loves in a Chick-fil-A spicy sandwich.

The price point on the sandwich with a medium fry and drink will run customers $11.25. This is $2.17 more than the original sandwich with a medium fry and drink. In my opinion, that's giving God's Chicken two extra bucks for ruining your sandwich. Then again, I guess for you Chick-fil-A nuts, you'll just mark it up as paying tithes.

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Probably the same one that allows the CEO's of Chick-fil-A to be outlandishly anti gay but still be billionaires. Can't say for sure though as we've yet to meet.

Haven't looked too much into this chicken burger CEO, but he sounds almost as bad as the Chicoms or even Xi Jinping. Even China decriminalized the homosexual acts in 1997 and even stopped treating the condition as a mental illness. (Conversion therapy is still available there.)

In modern times, the homosexuality and the rainbow flag are almost universally associated with the United States and its culture. San Angelo is an especially gay place, as are many of its traditions (the rodeo) and institutions (the Air Force).

The Chinese claim that homosexuality itself is a cultural artifact of the West. I think they could be forgiven for making this claim.

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