Nocturnal 'Dino Divas' Causing Jurassic Traffic Trouble


HAGERSTOWN, MD — In a bizarre turn of events, downtown Hagerstown has become the stage for a unique and unexpected nightlife phenomenon. Over the past several nights, a group of audacious women, creatively known as the "Dino-Divas," has been spotted harassing motorists while dressed in elaborate dinosaur costumes.

Breaking away from conventional norms, these enterprising women have opted for a prehistoric twist on the world's oldest profession. The streets of Hagerstown are witnessing a peculiar blend of modern nightlife and Jurassic Park, as the Dino-Divas bring a roar-worthy performance to alleys and dimly lit thoroughfares.

Dino Divas Downtown

Dino Divas Downtown

(Credit: Washington County Sheriff's Office FB Page)

Replacing stilettos with dinosaur claws and high heels with tails, the Dino-Divas have captivated the attention of onlookers who describe their approach to vehicles as uniquely saurian. Reports suggest that the encounters involve the Dino-Divas showcasing their distinctive features, ranging from menacing roars to elegantly waving tails, leaving some drivers with "extinct-ively" memorable experiences.

Despite the curiosity surrounding their actions, the Dino-Divas remain elusive about their motivations. In a statement delivered through a pterodactyl messenger, they cryptically mentioned, "We're just trying to bring a little dino-magic to Hagerstown. It's a tough world out there, and everyone could use a little Jurassic joy."

As the city grapples with this unexpected reptilian resurgence, one thing is certain: the Dino-Divas are reshaping the local social scene and injecting a Jurassic jolt into Hagerstown's nightlife. The phrase "prehistoric pick-up" takes on a whole new meaning as these unique characters redefine the norms of the downtown entertainment landscape.

In light of these unusual occurrences, authorities are urging anyone with information about the identity of the Dino-Divas to come forward and assist in their identification

Dino Diva

Dino Diva

(Credit: Washington County Sheriff's Office FB Page)

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This is what happens when the "battle of the sexes" causes a rift at the highest levels. Disconcerted over male outbreeding success, some females feel compelled to gain reproductive parity. Not content that the group runs the (((federal reserve))) while simultaneously bringing back the Roman salute, the competition quickly turns internecine as these females show up "in costume" to to compete for outgroup genes instead of against them as nature intended...

Reptilian jokes aren't easy — but I can see how all that looks as incoherent as a modern presidential address if one isn't familiar with the conspiracy lore.

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